Skydive Arizona!!!

In an effort to face my fears (aka TURNING 30! in a few months), I decided to jump out of an airplane. (Or was this simply an effort to make me feel grateful to MAKE it to 30?!?!?!?) I wasn't too nervous until everyone else jumped out ahead of me, leaving me the last to jump out of the plane and at the highest altitude (13,000 feet). In fact, watching others jump out of the airplane ahead of me was more nerve racking than looking at the ground below. I don't remember having my eyes closed, but it doesn't look like they're open in the picture below...

I love this one: check out the airplane directly above me! (And I clearly wasn't comfortable with the drop yet. The sink in my stomach went away after half a second, though, leaving me free to enjoy the experience. Plus, I was glad that i had someone flying around me taking pictures--it distracted me while I was doing the free fall and gave me something to focus on.)

Getting a little more comfortable with the free fall...

...and now loving it! :) ...

Check out my cheeks: the wind totally deforms your face. I've got chubby cheeks! :)

Jared was my tandem jump buddy. He had dreads like nobody's business. He was also much bigger and stronger than I was, leaving me feeling a lot safer than I would have been with someone scrawny attached to my back...

Jared's awesome deformed face:

Yup. I hugged him after all was said and done. (Oh--and check out my hair. It looks pretty good considering what I'd just done. Also, for others considering sky diving, note that I opted for the suit. You can do it without, but I'll just warn you that you're wardrobe choice is highly important. I checked out videos of others that are posted online by the company and discovered that women wearing a V-neck shirt may show more than they're comfortable with (check out the picture above if you wonder how that could happen). Also, cut off daisy dukes don't look good, either (Not that I'd be in daisy dukes!). Anyway, I wore something I'd be okay in whether or not I opted for the jump suit (which was free and ended up being a good choice).

What's that you say? You haven't seen enough? Well, check out the video! (oh--and sorry about the lame part up front. Skip the first two minutes or so since it's lame advertising...)

I love these two kids...

Thanks for coming out, mom and dad! Oh--and the LA Dodgers/Los Angeles Angels spring training game? It was so fun! And you are truly my BEST FRIENDS EVER!!!! (but not because dad figured out how to get a shoe rack into my closet. It's just because...you're amazing!)

Bragging rights for whomever can tell me who this person is. The kids next to me either nicknamed him Lucky or his name is Lackey. Who knows. (I don't, and neither did the new friends I made who sat behind us in the game. Yay for Canadians!)

Stretch class

You should all come to my friend Judy's stretch classes. She's AMAZING, and you can do this:
PLUS, it totally helps my back feel better (darn-desk-job-that-I'm-incredibly-grateful-to-have-in-this-economy!), and Judy (who does triathalons and is training for an ironman race) has found that the therapeutic stretch she does made a real difference in her training. So it's not just for sissies like me. :) Wednesday night, 7:15 pm at Tribe Sport: 1800 N Scottsdale Road (correct me if I'm wrong, Judy!). And she's not even paying me to post this!

Too much time at work...

....evidenced by days I show up to work in the same outfit as my co-workers, and yet unplanned.

clearly our little auditor minds are not so creative when it comes to fashion...although in both cases I'd never matched the items before and in one case hadn't worn the shirt for a long time!

Les Miserables

Last night I went to see Les Miserables with my friend Mark. It was wonderful! I think what I loved most was that the theater is incredibly small and so I was only seven or eight rows back (though you probably couldn't be more than 30 to 35). It was so amazing to see the faces up close and hear some incredibly voices. I loved so many of the songs and was astounded by the talent that people have.

We also got to walk to the theater, since it was so close to Mark's house. The weather out in Phoenix is GORGEOUS right now! The orange blossoms have also arrived, so it's like walking around in paradise. This is definitely my favorite time of year to live in Arizona. (Thanks for a great night, Mark!)

Survivors Guilt

I made a commitment when I decided to keep a blog that while I would not publish negative information (my blog is intended to help me find the good and positive in life), I would not sugar coat things, either. Real life doesn't come in the flavor of "only positive." Today is one of those days, and one that I feel should be acknowledged.

Wednesday our office laid off 29 staff, including six from approx. 30 in my division who work under the division management. It was, to be frank, a terrible day. While I have heard about many who have lost their jobs, including my own brother-in-law, I really had no idea how awful it would feel being part of an organization, in the building, and a part of it. I awoke yesterday and began to cry as I thought of those I know who are now in a terrible position--a co-worker whose husband lost his job two months ago and was supporting their 14 year old son and new baby, an older gentleman who is quiet but kind, and other dear friends. The legislature cut 30% of the money the office had been given at the beginning of the year with only a quarter of the year to come up with the money. There was, quite literally, no other choice--and it was evidenced by the very sorrowful and pained looks that were on the faces of our leaders. As our leader remarked: "we have no fat left to cut. we are simply cutting muscle." I had started to suspect the lay-offs on Tuesday, but never guessed how far into the divisions the cuts would come.

Losing these people at our office is difficult on a personal level: I spend the majority of my time with them, and they are all friends. Our office has a very unique culture in that we all know and care about each other's families and personal lives. Privacy is respected, but leadership knows the faces and individuals that they work with--even though they are several ranks below them. (It's not uncommon for them to come around the office saying hello.)

I didn't expect to feel what I have felt even about myself--sheer elation to have a job, total and utter guilt in discussing it with others who kept their jobs as well ("survivors guilt" has been frequently referenced at the office ), and somehow this strange desire to irrationally cry . It's hard to feel this way and remember that "it's not personal--it's business." In this case, it truly was. There is no way that our office would have let these staff go if the money was there, and although not appropriate to share on-line, I saw that our office literally sacrificed everything they could to save not only a few more positions but also hold on to these staff for just a few short weeks. Amazingly, we're still not in the clear: we anticipate that because of a 3 billion dollar deficit for next year, additional cuts are coming. The office has already wrung the towel dry, and there will be no buffer between staff and further cuts. :( (yup. that's a sad face!)

So, why post this? I guess I'm posting it for a few reasons: 1. it's incredibly therapeutic. 2. I wish I'd been able to understand what others were experiencing, and think this may help others understand it better. Perhaps they'll be able to be more compassionate than I was. (Or have I just been dense?) 3. Maybe somewhere, somehow, someone else will read this and take comfort that they aren't alone.

a friendly reminder...to not be so hard on yourself!

Isn't it funny how we sometimes think we shouldn't feel difficulty in life because we see others around us who are seemingly always so happy? (just think perma-smile!) Or how we think that because we know of the joy that Christ brings into our life that we should somehow bounce back quickly or move through challenging experiences without feeling it?

I was talking to a friend today whose life has some particularly scary challenges right now, and who was feeling bad--because she wasn't smiling about it. I was grateful for a reminder of Elder Wirthlin's general conference talk from last year, in which he reminded us that it is okay to have a bad day. Specifically, he reminded us that Christ, in His wisdom, does not shield us from pains or sorrows and that there are some days that just AREN'T going to be easy (and we're not going to love them at that moment, either). However, he also taught us that it is in our reactions to those days and how we choose to handle those adversities that contributes to how happy and successful we can be in our lives.

This seems like an appropriate thing to be sharing at a time when so many have lost jobs and have other serious struggles (like friends who are far to young to face the health challenges that they are and so many others I know who are losing jobs, worried about losing jobs, and facing intensely personal battles). I think the Lord is far more merciful and desirous to wipe away our tears than we may think. In fact, I think sometimes we imagine He might be telling us to BUCK UP and...STOP CRYING, when in reality those are moments when our heart is tender and humble enough to have our most personal experiences with our Savior and the Atonement. These are the moments when He can most noticeably wrap us with His love, and which bolster our testimonies and our hearts for the eternities.

Everyone should really just read this talk again, and you can do so by clicking here: Come What May, and Love It.